Walking down the street on that August day I saw a homeless woman sitting outside a sandwich shop, something that is not out of place on the New York City streets. As I walked by, something made me stop and take a second glance. Unlike others, she wasn’t asking for money, she was asking for food. As my friends crossed the street to avoid her, I stayed and offered, “You guys go on without me, I’ll meet up with you in a second.” I went in to the shop and bought three tuna subs, milk and a few apples. On my way out I handed the food to the woman, wished her a good day and went to meet up with my friends.
Not all of my friends had gone on without me; Josh wanted to make sure I didn’t get lost, so he watched me from across the street. He commented, “That was really nice of you, but it isn’t really safe, and it’s not like you can solve anything with a tuna sub.” I didn’t really know what to respond. The truth was I couldn’t put into words why I had done it, just that I knew that I should.
Today, years later I know why I did it. We all went to Jewish day school and Jewish sleep away camp for years, yet those experiences never prepared me for that situation on that day. But two weeks before the “tuna sub incident,” I had spent a hot summer Sunday afternoon in my Hebrew tutor’s apartment. It was very hot in the apartment. My tutor didn’t have an air conditioner – they had just had their first baby and air conditioners were expensive. They didn’t have the money. When my father came to pick me up he said that, as coincidence had it, he knew someone in the community who had an extra air conditioner, and “was looking to get rid of it.” With the connection made, my father promised my tutor to drop it off later that day. In the car my father asked me, “Would you mind if we made one stop before we go home?” We drove straight to the closest hardware store. Inside, we picked out the best air conditioner they sold, ripped the price tag off, and dropped it at their apartment.
We never discussed the “air conditioner incident” until years later, when reminiscing over a cup of coffee. I turned to him and remarked, “You know, I try so hard to be like you, let me tell you my own story about some tuna subs…”
Many times we assume that by telling our children what is right and wrong they will learn. If we send them to the best schools, and make sure they have the most amazing summer experiences they will learn Jewish values; chesed (lovingkindness), Tzedakah (charitable experiences) and G’milut Chasdim, (loving acts) and more. While that may be true, nothing can compare to the effect parents’ actions have on their children.
